The weakness has now become a four-year cold. A dirty cold that we all knew was nothing more than a contagious bug under the false pretense of “change” and “hope” and other such symptoms of degenerative “progressivism,” which is actually just a trace term for perpetual “Amero-French-Subservience.”  If you buy this shit then do your first born a favor and drown the poor bastard in a bathtub full of water heated by those evil bastards working 14-hour days digging coal out of our now criminal earth. Never mind that, you know, the part where coal and oil came from the earth, and the part where we figured out we could survive and develop by refining it, the part where we were allowed to live and grow and be a prosperous nation without being bastardized from within? You media-whore mongering robots, most of you supposed responsible adults jeopardized us all when you walked into that voting booth and pissed on the constitution and crapped on our flag. You elected a man that will, and I promise this throughout the course of natural eventuality, will make GW look like Albert Einstein on blow. Even worse, most of you have no regret or remorse, even after well over 100 days of well documented catastrophic presidential dead loss. You still cling to the idea that a man who can barely pull his scripted lines off a teleprompter (which was actually recently upgraded from the traditional small camera mounted version to massive Sony flat screens to give the appearance that he was in fact not reading his personal-from-the-heart addresses from a screen at all).  This guy is a douche-bag. He is still campaigning while North Korea is lobbing shitty Korean missiles to who knows where but the point has been made. This cocky bastard was talking about de-arming the US while Kim-Jong is lighting up over-grown Korean fireworks over Japan. Im glad Korea sent their 50 years too late shit tube up in the air, which they claim launched a satellite into space but was seen splashing into the ocean, because hopefully it will light a fuse in your socialist Saudi-bowing president. I would say he is ‘our’ president and offer some form of due given respect…except this man does not care about us, or even you who voted for him. He has made this clear on several occasions. We can only hope to God that enough of you realize that the party is in fact over. You partied too hard. May you all gag on the vomit of your Obama intoxication.  

worst joke ever, like way worse than man walks into a bar, cuz this is more like man walks into the white house and screws us all...

The Gorinian-Enviro-Nazi’s ABC Hand book of how to save the world (by killing America) PART ONE (Letters A through J)

Eat it up kids. Your local enviro-nazi dream team is forming and I’ll be damned if they don’t have a fool proof plan to save the world. (Pay attention, there is some pork attached) The summation is quite simple; cripple the country from the top down and make it impossible (and illegal) to do just about anything. The following is a list of words, actions, names and ideas that are well on their way out. Feel free to add, because I am quite certain I missed a few hundred…

Assemble (Unless it’s a peaceful ultra-liberal torch wielding assembly trying to burn down a former vise-presidential running mates church in Alaska)

Alaska (Alaska will now be illegal for 2 reasons, both of them being a former vise-presidential running mates home state and the presence of decades worth of oil)

Affiliate (Unless it an affiliation with either- A) a racist anti-American religious leader B) an unrepentant terrorist and his convicted terrorist wife C) a convicted real estate con-artist to get a good property deal D) a crazed Illinois governor hell bent on illegally selling a senate seat

Arm (Unless it involves arming the helpless trees plants and animals so they can finally shoot back at heathen Americans who’s greed and immortality have led them to disgusting habits such as eating food and building shelters to live in)

Act (Unless it involves acting in front of cameras for two years to give the overwhelming impression that A) you care B) you know what you are talking about C) you “feel the pain of the common American” D) the criminal/racist/con-artist that you have been associated with for decades “wasn’t the person you knew then”) E) you were in fact born in Hawaii and not in Kenya F) you or no one you know ever spoke to said accused governor especially one of your most recent controversial cabinet picks in regards to the selling of said senate seat

Build (Unless it involves building A) wind farms which are exorbitantly expensive and are unreliable in use with existing power grids B) hybrid vehicles which will only further cripple the US automotive industry C) a near trillion dollar infrastructure project in attempt to stimulate the economy just because you heard F.D.R. did it sixty years ago and people thought it worked and you think that all the press comparing you to F.D.R. makes you more legitimate/experienced/knowledgeable.)

Breed (This is an important one. Because traditional man/woman couples typically have for the past few thousand years, copulated to populate the earth and expand families, all of which is clearly offensive to liberals, the ACLU will file suit against both God and all mankind in an attempt to make giving birth a right for same-sex couples. God will be required to change the human form and function or face steep payouts. This of course will happen before the ACLU and other left-wing fanatics sue God to make him not exist because his omni-presence offends them and their desire to pursue ultra-atheistic practices such as drinking coffee at Starbucks and plotting to have the cross shaped piece taken out of the popular children’s game Perfection.)
Brandish (OBVIOUSLY brandishing any sort of firearms will be illegal unless A) you are a criminal with legal backing preferably by the ACLU B) you are part of the hundred thousand strong pseudo-marxist “civilian taskforce” proposed by your president elect. C) you are a terrorist who was captured on the field of battle trying to slaughter American troops dressed as a citizen but cant be detained questioned interrogated or prosecuted because it might make you a little uncomfortable so after your prompt release you will be reissued an assault rifle and flown to the terrorist harboring country of your choice so you can continue your heathen jihad, all of course at the taxpayers expense.)

Broker (Free capitalistic American commerce will formally be replaced with a much larger more cumbersome and intrusive socialistic government backed style of economic dictatorship, because as we all know, nobody knows how to run business like the government, I mean look at the post office, what better model of efficacy exists today?)

Construct (Construction of all non-green Matt Damon approved buildings will be halted until consumers can afford to pay ten times previous market value for homes and business that run only on sunlight, Al Gore pixy dust, and bullshit.)

Christmas (I’m surprised that the most evil of all holidays, which was declared a national holiday in 1870 by Ulysses S. Grant, has made it this far. The libs are furious that millions of Americans have the audacity to celebrate the birth of their savior and place $1.13 strands of lights on green trees and make food and spend time with their families and give food to charity and actually give their children something to look forward to all year. You can actually be fired for telling customers “Merry Christmas.” Christmas celebrations must know be called ‘holiday events’ to protect the sanctity of those who make a living out of making sure others cant freely enjoy their beliefs as prescribed under the constitution. I can only assume that by denouncing and barring all Christmas related activities that those individuals animatedly aggrieved by the mere mention of ‘the other nasty c-word’ will report to work on December 25^th and celebrate baby Jesus day by working alone while basking in pride knowing that they have the divine gift of believing in nothing while simultaneously attacking others beliefs.)

Cultivate (Cultivation requires tractors which we all know are on the rap sheet for murdering polar bears. It will be proven by Mr. Gore himself that baby seal blood powered John Deere tractors were used by Dick Cheney to systematically euthanize entire families of polar bears and haul massive chunks of the solar ice caps to melting facilities to help meet the Bush administrations sea level raising goal of .00000000001” over the next 450 centuries.)

Create (Under the new administrations tax policy, creativity in commerce of any kind will be severely punished via tax increases in the name of ‘patriotism.’ As we speak, successful businessmen, affluent investors and triumphant entrepreneurs alike are scrambling to dismantle their operations, sell of their assets and pack up shop before the socialist redistributive tax changes take effect. The owner of the Miami Dolphins is first in line in case anybody is wondering.)

Demolish (Environmentalists often bring demolitions of aging and financially burdensome buildings and bridges to a halt because of fear the dust from the collapsing concrete might give a family of beavers a sinus infection. They also challenge any sort of roadway development that might cause emotional damage to the local sea bass population and so on. Engineers in turn are forced to design highways and roads that cost hundreds of millions of dollar more to build and require commuters to put more miles on their vehicle thus consuming more fuel. Ironic because the enviornazis ultimately want to make oil more illegal than unicorn blood, a process that has been given much undeserved merit by Britain’s ill-fated brainchild to cut carbon emissions 80% by 2050. See, its really that simple, bankrupt the country, halt industry and wham-o…no more emissions!!)

Develop (Development implies progress, expansion, industrial progression, and the logical idea that we should utilize our own resources to remain competitive. And since all of these ideas directly contradict the core principals of most liberals and environmentalists, development of any kind from here on out will be frowned upon. Clearly the world will prosper from the death of our need to generate income and remain globally viable because Time magazine tells me so every week.)

Deliver (I’m guessing UPS, Fed-Ex, and the USPS will be forced to cut daily shipping routes or comply to hard line eco-friendly yet fiscally nonviable ‘green machines’ as their primary vehicles of transport. This once again gets redundant in stating because if there is no development, and no dirty manufacturing there wont be much to ship anyways. Hopefully the full circle theme is starting to set in)

Drive (Democrats love to crucify the masses of Americans who were evil enough to actually purchase a vehicle that was large enough for an entire family, was stable enough to drive through a snow storm, and when involved in an accident was strong and safe enough to protect its occupants. Already we have seen threats from the government to the US automotive manuafactures essentially threatening abandonment if they don’t go hard green. Hybrids are a super swell idea and someday I’m sure they will be no-brainer, but at this exact moment attempting to give the country a hippie makeover at the cost of a complete economic meltdown doesn’t make a lot of sense.)

Drill (Over used by the republicans in 08’ race, and a word perpetually unknown to anyone who thinks this country can abandon coal and oil in the next few years, drilling has become the new racism. Liberals are convinced that by ignoring the decades worth of untapped oil and natural gas living in our own backyards, we can force industry into conforming to impossible eco-standards. They are of course correct. By forcing industry to go green overnight, production will immediately halt; companies will either close up shop or relocate (if they haven’t already, I mean there’s still plenty of room and hungry workers in China, Korea, Mexico etc etc etc). And as if a magic wand of enviro-struction (my new word meaning destruction through environmental tyranny) sprinkled the country with eco-fairy-death-dust, factories will shut down finally solving that pesky green house gas problem that has yet to be irrefutably validated. And since no one will have jobs, those middle class SUV driving bastards will finally be forced to stop murdering the world with their death mobiles.)

Farm (Farming under the eco-nazi rein has taken a nasty turn for the worse. Remember a while ago when US farmers pretty much grew what they wanted, were really good at it, and the US was actually able to export food all around the world which helped starving nations and thwarted massive increases in prices on silly things like corn grain and wheat? Well, that was unacceptable to some people, so they came up with a brilliant idea to burn food instead of gas so we could save the world!! Ethanol, or the E-85 blend, which only wastes acres upon acres of perfectly good corn for one damn tank of fuel, succeeded not only in diverting billions of dollars in automotive research for logical and realistic forms of propulsion, but also prompted a world wide food shortage starving millions of people right in their tracks! WAY TO GO EVERYBODY! Thanks to these eco-jackasses you can now buy a $50,000 Chevy Tahoe that gets 15 miles to the gallon…BUT… can fuel itself on a food/fuel blend that you cant BUY ANYWHERE ANYWAYS!!! These people are ok with literally starving children to death if it means making a green shit stain on their resumes and they are or already have taken over Washington. The starving children of Kenya wish to personally thank you for your liberal voting record, please send them a “Change you can believe in” bumper sticker for Christmas so they have something colorful for their gravestones.)

Fight (Unless you are a certain governor from Illinois who claims he will “Fight! Fight! Fight!” until his last breath because all the incriminating tapes the FBI recorded were actually segments of prank calls from Ashton Kusher)

Fart (gas excreted from cows pigs and sheep are now considered toxic to the earth and will be taxed per head, I am not making this up!)

Freeze (Any news of polar caps re-freezing, as they do and have done for a very very long time will be made illegal to report because it will discredit the most respected of all non scientist-scientist…Al Gore)

Grill (red meats) (Meat is murder)

Generate (Generating electricity by practical and economically viable means is on the outs. Wind farms are a sure fire way to bring instability to power grids across the country so naturally the libs love them.)

Hunt (All you nut-jobs out there who choose to exercise your right to own a gun, and are insensitive enough to hunt on your free time when you arent either working or are in the process of being laid off, will no longer have to worry about freezing your asses off the first day of deer season. Libs hate hunters, which is really no surprise because they hate most things that tax-paying citizens do. I think I’m going to start sending venison patties labeled as Boca Burgers to all these anti-hunting douche bags that apparently have nothing better to do than ruin other peoples lives while sitting on their own thumbs up their asses with MSNBC on the flat screen.)

Handout (Unless it involves handouts to a corrupt housing and voter rights advocacy group whose initials spell out a certain nut that squirrels eat. Handouts in the form of charitable donations to an un-named library will also pose no conflict of interests as the wife of said libraries founder becomes secretary of state…hmmmmm)

Help (A twist here- NOT helping those who choose not to work and make themselves useful members of society is now a big big no-no. How genius; promise tax cuts to the very people who don’t pay taxes in order to get elected and then stick the bill with the rest of us. Conservatives who suggest stricter welfare and government assistant regulations will be labeled as “satanic minority oppressing heathens” and denounced by the drive-by media.)

Ok I am carrying on a bit, time to start tidying up the rules.

Hunt (Hunt appears twice because it will be double illegal)

Invent (Unless it involves inventing a birth certificate for B-rock)

Invest (Unless it involves shady land deals with Tony Rezco)

Investigate (Unless it involves investigating a republican)

Interrogate (Unless it involves interrogating a republican)

Inherit (Unless it involves inheriting a senate seat for a large amount of money)

Inhabit (Unless it involves a democrat inhabiting an expensive hotel to cheat on his cancer stricken wife)

Join (Unless in involves joining the party of change real change change we can believe in)

Jubilate (Unless it involves jubilation by a racist reverend screaming “god-damn America” at the top of his lungs in front of thousands of people)

ok ok- thats all for now. The letters K through Z will be coming shortly.

It really couldn’t have gone any other way. It’s a test. Its one great big test of what’s left of the minds hearts and souls of the poor benefactors of what was supposed to be a prosperous and noble nation.

We,

In our great modern form are the great blindfolded witnesses of the persecution of religion, the severance of capitalism, the injection of government on what was a self reliant people.

We,

In our present state of involuntary restructure, are forced to question who in fact will actually give a damn about the principles and foundations of our republic (look it up), and challenge these heathen mongrels who think it’s a good idea to piss on the bill of rights, condemn the constitution and undermine the thousands upon thousands of good souls who gave their lives to protect ours.

It’s a kick in the teeth, a slap in the mouth. I actually had someone, someone close to me tell me that I shouldn’t be so negative about what’s happening to our country. I was told that our president elect was a “constitutional scholar” and that I should be supportive unconditionally. I will do no such thing for a man who stands for nothing, speaks in circles and surrounds himself with some of the most putrid pieces of garbage you can find on this still green and non temperature rising earth.  No one, to this day can tell me one reason why they voted for this man. Its actually become quite a fun game and I recommend you try it on your friends. Round up all your smitten demagogue loving bastard cohorts and see if they can tell you why they voted the way they did. Here’s the catch… they cant mention GW Bush or attempt to make your believe the election was about abortion… because it was not. You will be very hard pressed for answers. I’ve asked dozens of people in the last month and I still haven’t gotten a single reason. And some of these people seem intelligent enough to actually lie and make up a reason why they voted the way they did, but what is truly amazing is that most cant even muster up a lie, amazing because the campaign was based upon lies and undeliverable promises. What is consistent is the stream of side talk and subject changing blurts of bullshit, much like oh I don’t know, a couple million dollar how to vote infomercial that I get from people when asked the great question of 08’… “why did you vote the way you did ?”  You will get bullshit for answers I promise. You will get bullshit because nobody knows. “Change! Its gonna change! We got change coming! Change is here! Its time for change! We need to change! Its gonna change this time cuz change is coming” and so on and so forth.

This asshole faked the presidential seal while campaigning, and now carries around an “Office of the President Elect” seal in his limo. The problem with that being there is no “Office of the President Elect.” It doesn’t exist. But this guy is so high on himself that it does exist, in his ego, which is roughly equal to or greater in size than Clintons ass.

I’m not sure when this country started voting on fads. Its unclear at which point people forgot they were in fact voting for the Commander in Chief, who’s primary job is protecting our lives and country, and not for some thieving media humping douchebag who suckles on the teeets of racists, unrepentant terrorist and real estate con artists.  But never mind all that. This guy promises to change the world, and trust me the world is changing.

John Bolton, former United States Ambassador to the UN predicted in June of this year that Israel, on the assumption that our president elect is a diplomatic no talent ass clown who thinks he can sit down with all the worlds malicious dictators for coffee will be a bit weak on maintaining a strong military presence on hostile and volatile nations, namely Iran, will prepare for a preemptive attack with or without or support. They have already begun such preparations under the assumption that Iran will continue its uranium enrichment in hopes of and I quote “wiping Israel off the face of the earth.” Oh I’m sorry, he actually said Israel is a “disgraceful blot” that should be “wiped off the face of the earth”. That sounds like the kind of guy that should be invited to dinner eh? But its cool, Im sure our president elect and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will get along just fine considering neither of them have valid United States birth certificates… Sorry, that was cheap, much cheaper than the three quarters of a billion dollars that it took to get the guy elected. 

its ok to be angry...trust me

“Where have all the cowboys gone ?”

                                                -Paula Cole

Ill tell you where they went…  They packed their bags and headed out and left us to fend off the heathens and vultures of a new world gone stark raving mad. Where are the patriot flags and our formally drafted call to action? When did molesting the constitution become more popular than shoplifting? It’s a frenzy; a cold balmy blizzard of putrid dissolution and apathy. It feels like that sweet chocolate death chunk ice cream that makes you sick to your stomach. Burn your colors, crank the tele and head to wallmart where the great meeting of the misinformed started years and years ago….oh and try an not get trampled to death under the obese drag race to the hot deal on isle six.

What?

Whats that you say?

You didn’t get your invitation?

 Sure ya did, its on kitchen table under the “hope” stickers asshole. We used to have camps for people like you. There used to be uncanny resolve and the barrel of a slick rifle to back it up. We don’t get that part. We get the water downed vitamin enhanced easy to digest PG rated version of impartiality and our kids are going to pay some new kinda hell for it. Its gotta go back or by the time the smoke clears and the red dust settles we wont know if we are coming or going, eating or shitting, smiling or vomiting in bag with a bar-coded American flag printed on the side. Don’t believe me? Do some homework and look around the world for the last few hundred or so years cuz its been tried and tried again and believe me my friend it’s a grade A- certifiable recipe for failure and its becoming the ingredients of our new national stew. And im talking about a slop so sour and putrid that just the thought of it makes your gut wrench and brow sweat like the final moments before giving up hope and losing your nights intake to that great white bleach scented porcelain basin called failure… 

Remember me?

Welcome to casual Friday, please leave your wallet in your pants on the way in. If you catch cold, you needn’t worry friend, universal healthcare will be available soon, pending you are only ill during the first five to eight months of the fiscal budget.  In the unlikely event you drown in said forthcoming “sea of change,” you and your family will receive proper documentation thoroughly explaining how it was in fact George Bush who is not only responsible for your own demise, but also for the ozone the sea level the global economic melt down the fall of the big three corruption on wall street corruption on capital hill non-binding resolutions dead baby seals faulted middle east relations Iranian nuclear empowerment foreign energy dependence social security bankruptcy savings depletions retirement depletion unemployment unstable infrastructure college tuition increases trans-fats and of course rosie o’donnell. Should you, in the course of supposed catastrophe become un-employed or even mildly uncomfortable its important to know that help is on the way in the form of “tax credits,” which is a clever yet useless and fiscally disastrous distraction term that usually ends up in gross miscalculation, overpayment, budget molestation and yes, even more confusion over the tax code. If there are any questions regarding policy, administrative position, cabinet member selection or any other general inquiry into what the next four years will look like, google Clintons’ reign in the White House and then look sharply to the left. It is also advisable to forget everything you have learned about The Constitution as well The Bill of Rights, as these documents have been deemed outdated, out of touch with reality, tools of the nutty religious right, and I quote (in regards to The Constitution), “a charter of negative liberties.” And since the very first line of the presidential oath reads “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States” we must now request that during said pledge of oath you ignore your president elect crossing his fingers behind his back and focus only on his other hand on the bible. AND…since the entire family stopped attending church as soon as the election ended…AND since the last church they belonged too was run by a racist anti-American extremist who coached your president elect for twenty years…AND since he has gone on record accusing most mid-westerners of “clinging to guns and religion” we ask that you also ignore the hand on The Bible, as it is merely a formality, much like the election itself.

Don't do it George!

Of course the year I decide to get my life together, get married and do other adult things like get health insurance and start a 401k, a lovely little modern era depression sweeps our nation. Now living in Ohio, you come to expect these things. The Midwest has had the crapped kicked out of it for quite some time, Ohio especially. There was rubber, there was steel, there were jobs, and there was also a river that actually caught on fire. These things of course are all gone. Many adapted, many fled. Ohio leads the country in loss of college graduates and it seems like a weekly occurrence to have some major shut down that terminates thousands of jobs.

Our recession, as the folks like to call it, will be a new kind of economic event not easily comparable to The Great Depression in the late 20’s and on into the 30’s. I am not waiting in bread lines yet, and I still consider myself fairly fortunate to live the modest life style that I do, but I think our generation is getting a mighty hefty tab from the jackasses who have let the country crumble like it has. And although there really hasn’t been a time in our history where we haven’t been challenged, there are a lot of heads that should be on the chopping block for our ghastly deficit, the recent meltdowns of financial staples, and the looming uncertainty that now engulfs us. Lets face it, we are a relatively young country by comparison, but what really upsets me is how right we almost got it, and how, as of late we are drifting back to the ideals that caused so many to rebel and create this nation in the first place. Was that a run-on sentence? I think it was a run-on sentence. They didn’t teach grammar at my school so I apologize, I’m kinda winging all this.

But anyways… I really wish people on all sides, Dems Repubs and Indi’s alike would take a few seconds to shut the hell up and really think about how we started, how we got here and where to go in the future. This country was founded on the idea that the government would not be an iron fist to rule the people, rather it would be a back bone and means of protection and a foundation so individuals could pursue their own dreams, hence the whole life liberty and pursuit of happiness thing. I know this is more a less a blanket statement of pro-patriotism and its been said a million times before by a million people who are much smarter than myself. But then again history isn’t taught like it should be in this country and I fault myself for not taking the time and effort to fill in the blanks, learn a few more dates and connect all the dots of democracy that helped shape our great nation…man that sounded gay “dots of democracy”?? good lord I should be a politician.

This election, among other things, should serve as a wakeup call to those in this country who still consider conservative ideals as important as freedom itself. I think the republican and the right in general got lazy. I think we thought that although greatly challenged and nearly defeated, that the basic principles of the constitution, The Bill of Rights and the core ideological structures of our nation would go unchallenged. Well, we clearly thought wrong. Our president elect has gone record, as Todd has mentioned, that the constitution harbors negative liberties, and doesn’t really say what the government can do to you rather than for you. It was never intended to be a threatening or punishing document. Our government was not designed to be a parental and supervisory system. Economically, we were intended to rely on the fundamentals of capitalism, which is defined as an economic and political system in which a country’s trade and industry are controlled by private owners for profit, rather than by the state. So the government stays out of commerce, and the strongest survive and the failures are allowed to fail. When we look at the big picture of what is currently happening, mainly the mass infiltration of government into the private sector, and especially what Obama plans to do with your tax dollars one word comes to mind. That word being socialism, which of course is defined as a political and economic theory of social organization that advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole. Doesn’t sound all that frightening does it, until you consider where it has been implemented and what happened to those countries as a result. Here’s a sampling of socialist nations, see if there are any that you would like to see The United States of America model…Cuba, North Korea, Venezuela, China, Vietnam, Syria and of course pre-modern Germany and the former Soviet Union. Political scientist Friedrich August von Hayek once said, “To make and enforce decisions, the government must be run by the most amoral and ruthless.” Well that certainly sounds appealing doesn’t it? 

            And so hopefully people will wake up a bit and realize that there is no longer a pro-American capitalist comfort zone to hide in. There are too many forces working in the opposite direction who think that we should be like those countries who are either failing under socialism, or have failed and collapsed under its strength.

***No Harry Reid’s were harmed in the making of this blog***

I’ve decided that I deserve a bailout. You see I am just too important to fail, I know this because my mom told me so and she has thus far never been wrong. The handouts are flying and I think its my turn. I’ve got bills and plenty of bad debt, and that’s the big ticket item right now for the US government so why not buy a piece? Im thinking a very arbitrary number, like $1.71 million. I could pay down the wife’s credit cards, maybe let her grab a few new coach purses and perhaps take a fancy vacation to the dentists office for a good old fashion grind & shine.   I got this idea when I heard about the latest in multi-billion dollar give away, this time to the domestic big three auto manufactures. For decades they have lagged behind in innovation and performance. Their resale and depreciation numbers are astonishing next to the imports, and they bet everything they have on size versus efficiency, not ever taking into account that the middle east oil supply is about as stable as a drunken clown at birthday party. The first numbers thrown around were placed around twenty-five-large (that’s govt mobster slang for $25 billion), however it should be noted that as with any bailout, similar to the one that saved Chryslers aging ass 20 years prior come with some heavy handed regulations. The low interest deferrable loans are slated for retooling and technological upgrades to make the US auto industry more competitive in the new Gorinian fuel efficient era of pussy powered green machines. Why this wont work? Well where should we start…

The cost of developing and producing hybrids and other alternate fuel vehicles are no where close to lying in the realm of being economically pleasing or even feasible in the immediate market. At this point, if you purchase a hybrid vehicle it could take years to break even versus fuel prices, not to mention the cost of replacing batteries, which can run in the thousands. Ethanol or E-85, General Motor’s supposed eco-breadwinner is quickly turning out to be a global food killer, wasting an expected 3.2 B bushels in 2007/2008. Its expensive to produce, difficult to transport and corrodes seals and other components in most of our existing combustion engines.

Retooling also doesn’t address the issue of one of the primary causes of the collapse in the first place. The US auto industry, under the strangle hold of unions has failed to adapt to modern times, paying workers astronomical wages with unrealistic benefit and retirement packages. Foreign manufactures on the other hand, have kept their wages in check and made it clear that a high paying salary is useless if the profit margin of the company is in the gutter. They chose stability and sustainability over paying a line worker $70 an hour just because he has seniority and an army of union backing. Already the big three have hinted that in order to cut costs it will have to phase out its higher paid employees to make room for newer lower paid ones. The unions will not allow this, so it’s back to the drawing board Henry. 

Another frightening aspect of the bailout is that the money could just end up over seas anyways. If the government mandates retooling, and the technology and resources for retooling lie in the hands of China, Japan and Korea, your tax dollars, meant to save millions of jobs here could just end up benefiting eastern machine and robotics companies. Do you really think Ford is going to pay a premium for US designed and built machinery when it could save a bundle by going to Korea for the same equipment? And say the retooling is a success and The Big Three buy themselves some time. Suppose by some improbable miracle of market realignment the US catch up and compete with foreign manufactures in the race for fuel efficiency, will that change the way they operate as a business?

 A lot of people, the Japanese especially, knew for years the making realistic fuel-efficient cars, although not trendy or universally appealing, is the smart way to go in the long term. Honda released the Civic in 1972 and it is now sold in over 160 nations worldwide. For 36 years this car has succeeded and there are many similar success stories from Nissan and Toyota. Can you really tell me that for the past 36 years no one from the US auto industry took some notes on this? We were the first to put a man on the moon but refused to use our ingenuity and our industrial prowess into play. Truth be told, we could have built our own fleet of Civic competing automobiles but it just wasn’t what we wanted to do. Thirty years ago gas was dirt cheap and the open road was ours for the taking. Back then we could afford to take a simple auto-man and wage his way into a nice house, maybe a boat and plenty of vacation time. Times change, the markets change, Obama is change, but the US refused to pay attention and now its come back to bite them in the ass…again.

That brings us to present day. Unions wont budge, plants are being closed in droves, the Japs are making killer cars that hold their value and are actually affordable to own, and The Big Three want a check for it? Too big to fail? Are you kidding me? Why is mismanagement and inefficiency rewarded on such a grandiose scale in this country and hometown middle class success susceptible to punishment? Trust me, my heart goes out to these people, the vast majority of them had nothing to do with this cyclic devolution of industry and commerce, but is there really no middle ground between the complete collapse of our industrial giants and punishing the common tax payer? I think Rush said it best when he asked his listeners to name one thing the government has actually ever fixed. Poverty, education, welfare, social security and now housing, automotive, and banking; all areas where the government knew best right? Our economy and the principles behind capitalism can inherently work assuming they aren’t constantly being manipulated by a bunch of detached policy makers with little to no experience in the areas they are attempting to regulate. Rewrite history and allow failures to fail and the smart and studious succeed. Let an entire airline go under and watch the others take a lesson in the values of smart business. If these people know they are “too big to fail” what’s the incentive to actually do things the right way? If you know there are parachutes, safety nets and no risk of accountability, what’s the incentive in long-term stability? These bailouts reward risk, risk creates instability, instability ultimately defeats profit and growth, the resulting downfall will be paid for with our tax dollars. 

That being said, I want my $1.71 million and I want you to pay for it. I need to cover operating expenses, re-establish my credit standing and bolster spousal confidence in my ability to be a good husband and buy her an expensive dog and buy myself an 09’ Porsche Cayenne Turbo-S which MSRP’s at $123,600 but has a top track speed of 174 mph and pumps out a steamy 550 hp at 6000 rpm. Ok so the last thing is a little excessive, but no more ridiculous than top executives for insurance dunce AIG running up a tab of $440,000 at the luxurious St. Regis Resort in Monarch Beach California less than a week after the federal government offered them a $85 billion bailout. Porsche Cayenne doesn’t sound so crazy now does it…

***no nancy palosi’s were harmed in the making of this blog***

she aint no chevy tahoe, but itll do

To no great surprise folks across the nation are stocking up on firearms in preparation for what might amount to the 2^nd amendment being bent over like cheerleader on prom night. The AP, the once respected and purportedly unbiased news conglomerate reports that background checks for gun purchases in August were up a whopping 15%. These mighty gun wielding new age pioneers are concerned that Obama’s new ideas for gun control, which he coins as ““common sense,””will somehow jeopardize their god given right to bear arms, and im not talking about tank-tops or stuffed animals. (Common sense requires a few extra quotations here because im not sure its legal or logical to put the phrase in a sentence also containing Obama) Now before we get sidetracked one way or the other its important to note that although I am not a gun owner, I would like to be but it has nothing to do with this presidential event or some of the nasty nasty things our newly elected has said about gun owners. I would like one for protection not from our commander in chief, but for the maniacs, rapists, animals, morons, thieves, assholes, crazified depressive heathens who walk our lovely city streets on a daily basis. I have a wife now and thanks to the splendors of the castle doctrine (see below), I would like to think that nothing could make me feel more complete as a person than to fire off a few smokey .38’s in the pattern of an isosceles triangle into what would have been my wife’s attacker. Now trying to avoid such a situation altogether, I went with some mace and a 3^rd floor apartment to thwart the 1^st floor sliding glass window thief, the 2^nd floor semi-motivated black ski mask rubber glove duct wielding parolee, as well as the too lazy to walk up a few flights of steps 2 packs a day attacker.

But it is also of valid concern that once in the full throws of power el presidente might try and crack the whip on amendment numero two’o and make it harder to both obtain and carry our pistolas and our rifolas. This panic I believe is typical of this country as of late, a sort of pandemic of fear and hysteric preparation for all damnation at the whisper of conflict. Is Obama going to take your guns? Maybe, maybe not. Much of it will depend on who is his puppeteer is for the week. Should you rush out and buy an personal arsenal to beat the lock down? Well that’s for you to decide and you alone. I for one would like to think that there are enough sane and constitutionally oriented minds left to thwart such an action from happening. You know how the saying goes…”guns don’t kill people, people kill people, but it takes a inexperienced leftist pseudo socialist president to kill the constitution.” Ok I made the last part up but its true. If the dominos are gonna fall the way some people tend to think, then it might not be a bad idea to take a stroll down to your local gun shop and pick up a couple of fine pieces just so you sleep a bit better while your pension crumbles, your country resorts to pre world war two Russian economic policies, and the founding fathers masterpiece gets ripped apart like a free thanksgiving turkey at the YMCA, if it in fact still exists. Again I apologize for my own leanings. I will give this man a chance and I hope he does well for a great country in great need. He mobilized a great deal of the stagnant of the nation and he will be rewarded with four to eight years of harnessing this rapidly evolving archangel of democracy. He will be tested with one the most challenging international chess matches of all time while taking on an cataclysmic economy left for him by an overzealous President Clinton, an ignored and distracted President Bush and a couple of years of an idle and self defeating democratic congress. It will be fascinating to see how serious he is about “reaching across the isle” now that there is not much left to reach across to. Lock and load bitches…no no im kidding… but seriously go get a gun…maybe just one…a little one…and get like, I don’t know just like a dozen bullets…and for gods sake learn how to shoot the damn thing…get one of those laser sights so you know just where what you’re gonna hit…cuz there aint nothing harder than patching bullet holes in the vaulted ceiling of your 3^rd floor apartment…well except for maybe getting the blood stains off the Berber… ok ok ill stop.

***no barney frank’s were harmed in the making of this blog***

from the all knowing and publicly edited archives of the wiki…

A Castle Doctrine (also known as a Castle Law or a Defense of Habitation Law) is an American legal concept derived from English Common Law, which designates one’s place of residence (or, in some states, any place legally occupied, such as one’s car or place of work) as a place in which one enjoys protection from illegal trespassing and violent attack. It then goes on to give a person the legal right to use deadly force to defend that place (his/her “castle”), and/or any other innocent persons legally inside it, from violent attack or an intrusion which may lead to violent attack. In a legal context, therefore, use of deadly force which actually results in death may be defended as justifiable homicide under the Castle Doctrine.

Castle Doctrines are legislated by state, and not all states in the US have a Castle Doctrine. The term “Make My Day Law” comes from the landmark 1985 Colorado statute that protects people from any criminal charge or civil suit if they use force – including deadly force – against an invader of the home.[1] The law’s nickname is a reference to the famous line uttered by Clint Eastwood’s character Dirty Harry in the 1983 film Sudden Impact, “Go ahead, make my day.”

This legal doctrine is often linked to the rights of homeowners to bear arms, as defined in the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution in the case of District of Columbia v. Heller.

A lesson in the perils of free speech…(10 ideas to right this country)

Idea #1- Dig up Reagan, spin his DNA. Make test tube baby with Sarah Palin. Raise baby in Antarctica. Start new breed of politics known as Palireganomics.

Idea #2- Make the first Friday of every month the official “B-Rock-O-bama Friday Free Money Giveaway!”. If you can prove you haven’t worked a single hour in the last six month you get a $50 bill from a real live small business owner. Lines for days my friends…for days

Idea #3- Send Al Gore to China indefinitely; this one needs no explanation.

Idea#4- Seamlessly interchange the plots and characters of Law and Order with those of Sesame Street. Law student applications by 3rd grade skyrocket. Everybody wins.

Idea #5- Donate close to a million dollars to a FBI investigated voting advocacy group to commit mass voter registration fraud to drastically tilt pre-election polls then deny everything even though it was heavily documented and pretty much universally known but unanimously ignored… wait… wait a minute. Scratch #5– been done.

Idea #5 (again)- This is more of a tip. I keep my prescription molded earplugs in a Wellbutrin bottle, that way my ears don’t get depressed when I hear bad news. It hasn’t worked so far but individual results may vary. Seek immediate medical attention for elections lasting longer the 24 months.

Idea #6- Donate Nancy Pelosi to charity. Cart her around the country and charge people $4 to spit on her. The red cross will never bother you again.

Idea #7- Make all presidential nominees explain in great detail on public television, and under the scrutiny of a lie detector, the embarrassing details of their first and most recent sexual experience. This of course would be traumatic for McCain, but no less disturbing for John Edwards or Senator Clinton.

Idea #8- GOP 2012: Bacon/Thornton. Yea I said it, who in the hell wouldn’t vote for Kevin Bacon and Billy Bob? Well unless it was a Chuck Sheen/Jessica Alba ticket. That’s as sure as syrup on pancakes. Or syrup on Jessica Alba. Either way you’re going home a smilin’!

Idea #9- Contraceptive slushies from Sheetz.

Idea #10- Hire a homeless person to coordinate a presidential candidacy. His dominant catch phrase of course being “CHANGE!”… sound familiar? Well it should. Is he advocating some sort of political revolution or is his meter low? Is he going to douche Washington or does he have his eyes set on a chicken salad sandwich? Point taken, we tried too hard. Change is coming? Maybe change already done came! Look in your center console, there’s plenty of change there.

Wait…I just had a changasm… yep I just got change all over the place… what a mess.

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